A Flirtation

My old job came open. I applied for it amidst a flurry of finding childcare for the Entropy Machine and making lists and trying to figure out how to juggle and ~work life balance~ and blah blah blah. 

I interviewed like I had never sat an interview before. I totally froze up. It was, in a word, ridiculous.

At first, I was so, OMG I can’t believe I didn’t get my job back! There’s a lot of turnover so only one person I worked with before was still there and they didn’t sit the interview. It hurt my feelings, but it didn’t hurt my feelings that bad.

Now, in retrospect, it’s probably a good thing. I really don’t want an office job again. Writing is what I want to do and where I want to be. AND my kid picked up toddler plague from one of the daycares we visited and I am so over being sick this winter already that I’m pretty crabby about it. Can’t stand the snotty toddler nose. *shudder*

I’ve also decided I need to treat writing like a full-time job and commit to full-time hours with it. Which, I’m not gonna lie, is super duper hard with a three-year-old and a husband who is on the road on business fairly often. Decision fatigue is a killer. And, for as many times as I’ve tried to be a lark, my creativity is just not active in the morning. Writing in the morning is only for, “Oh shit, I need to finish this paper by 10:30!” and not for creative writing. Sure, I’ve had plenty of early morning jobs and hiking first thing in the morning is one of my favorite things to do in the world. BUT, just not the way my brain works ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’ve come to the conclusion that when daddy is away is revision focus time. My word count is struggling, to be honest. But, I’ve made some headway on this Cop Drama revision I’ve been working through. AND I reread my NaNoWriMo project and I really like it. I’m super excited to revise it as well. It’ll need a fairly heavy rewrite, but it took one of those delightful NaNoWriMo turns and I just went with it. With a rewrite, it will be fantastic. Good characters, good sex (I think), good twist, fun stuff. I’m not sure of the publishing schedule, but that’s a whole ‘nother discussion right there 😀

So. I need to find more time to work on writing. When hubs is home, I definitely have to be working and writing as much as I can. BUT at the same time, I don’t have any projects to write currently. Plenty to revise, but I don’t have anything that’s asking to be written. Rewrites, certainly, but I want to have the revision beforehand in place before I write more on the story, if that make sense.

In any case. I have too many things to decide from and at least I don’t have to worry about some dumb job out of the house to distract me and get me sick with toddler plague. And it’s also reaffirmed my desire to write and to make this a career. I feel like I have a talent for it and that’s what I hear, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Anyway. I’m going to be pushing to see what I can do with all of this and I’m looking forward to this coming adventure.

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