Category Archives: embezzling oma

Even Crappy Experiments are Good

I was playing with caffeine. Not even a terribly big amount. In my half pot of coffee I’d drink at 5 in the morning, one scoop of regular, two scoops of decaf. But, turns out that was enough. Throw in playing fast and loose with gluten, “Omg I NEED fish and chips” and kaboom!

So, monster evil barfing migraine along with monster evil hormonal shifts plus monster evil caffeine withdrawal and bleh.

At least I’ve learned that caffeine is not something that plays well with my brain. I wondered if the daith piercing would fix it, but that’s beyond the daith.

In fun news, I think I’m going to go back to school with the Entropy Machine starts kinder in a couple years and get my English BA. Then, maybe a Creative Writing MFA? We’ll see. My brain just gets antsy without something to do. And I know I can give it something to do, but I really enjoy taking classes. And I’m totally not about finding childcare. And I’d like to have my writing pay for the degree and I’m not there yet.

Screen Shot 2016-07-21 at 1.57.49 PMAnd more fun, I finished the first draft of The Defiant Canary. Came in at 133,921 words. Like, unbelievable. It needs a huge trim. Seriously, we don’t need 400+ pages of this book. It’s gonna be a bitch to revise. Now, to finish The Embezzling Oma.

I still have 815 words to hit my July goal of 63,969. It’s what I have to hit every month if I want to write 500k this year. I might just chuck those 815 words into The Defiant Canary so I can be done, but that’s not a good idea either because I’d just have to revise it and throw it away anyway.

I’m finally feeling much more alive than dead. Still a little off, but not so bad that I’m a couch slug. And the boost of having finished a draft is pretty fab. But now the rest of everything I’ve promised everyone is popping back up. I emailed a first chapter to my friend and now she wants a second chapter. I’ve gotta go to the post office. We’re on freezer foraging and need to go grocery shopping. And wouldn’t you know it, the hubband is out of town for a couple days. All in all, things are more good than bad and now that I can stand without wanting to throw up, everything is much better. But mostly, here’s to another finished first draft!

New Habits

I can’t decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I was out with friends last night and ended up bullshitting until 10:30, which is well past my up at 5 bedtime. I turned off my early morning alarms because that would be an exercise in futility. My brain went PING! TIME FOR WRITING!!! at 6. I was up and working. I had a full listen to the Requiem and got some good writing done.

I’m a little sleepy, not going to lie, but the feeling of accomplishment is better than my occasional yawn. It was only ~1500 words, not sure how much exactly because I’m doing this Embezzling Oma project longhand and I still need to transcribe it. But, more than a thousand in any case.

I think this was exactly what I needed to get me back on track with my writing. This push in the morning and my brain is loving it. The fact I’m up and so happily at 6 is pretty indicative of how much my brain is loving this.

So, here’s to new habits. Here’s to productivity. Here is to my scribbles!


Camp NaNoWriMo sent a little “Hello! Camp is next month!” email. I thought that would be a perfect moment to look at a half-finished project to finish next month. I open up the Scrivener file and discover I have almost 60k words written on it. Screen Shot 2016-06-02 at 7.18.31 AMI don’t think this story has another 50k words.

Part of me is a little shocked that I would just leave ~60k words dangling in the breeze like this. The rest of me is, “Well, you haven’t published any of your other scribbles, so why does it matter?”

I think I’m going to end up writing the end of The Defiant Canary and finishing The Embezzling Oma for Camp. The Embezzling Oma only Screen Shot 2016-06-02 at 7.24.11 AMhas ~20k words, so there is plenty of story left to write. It’s my first foray into suspense, so it’s been fun. I’ve been having a hard time getting into the heads of the baddies. I don’t know if it’s my autism brain or what, but there are some rules and they just shouldn’t be broken (who the hell kills people?!). So, I have a hell of a time working through their motivations and what they’re doing.

At an RWA chapter function a few months ago, I was scolded for having so many manuscripts that need revision and pubbing. Heh, now I almost have two more to add to the stack.

The upside, since I’ve been thinking about writing so much recently, I’ve been working on it more. Like, writing for me is broken down into a couple different parts. The thought work, the writing, the inspiration attacks, the revision, the post-production. Generally, I’ll do my thought work when I’m walking my dogs. Since the hubster has been traveling, I don’t get to walk my dogs for these long, solitary rambles. Instead, it’s walks with the kid and the puppy herd and my brain is focused on keeping them all safe. But that’s beside the point. I’ve been doing the thought work. I’ve been prepping for revision, rereading manuscripts, downloaded ProWritingAid, and finally doing this word monkey work. I’ve been working on getting up early and today I was out of bed by 5:30. As much as I hate to admit it, I think the early morning push is making the difference. So much of my productivity stuff has said the first 30-60 minutes are vitally important and I think they might be right. I’d be lounging in bed, looking over the fun stuff I’ve missed overnight on Facebook and Instagram. But this morning, I was up and at my desk. Maybe not as cozy as my bed, maybe not as amusing as studying the back of my eyelids, but I feel it in my bones. This is where I belong and what I want to do and what I should do.

Anyway. It’s almost 8 and the Entropy Machine will be awake soon. Surprised she’s slept this long. Time to take off my word monkey hat and put the mom hat on.

It’s a start

Well, I’m up before my family and sitting at my writing desk. It isn’t the 5 or 5:30 I had originally planned, but I’m up and sitting here and my family is still all asleep.

I’ve never been the most graceful about waking up early, but I was working at a cafe and I had to be there at 5:30 in the morning. I came to love being awake so early, before the rest of the world. Of course, once I stopped, I went right back to “Wow! Nighttime is so goddamn cool!” And, I’ve taken a bunch of 7:30 classes too. I’ve done it before. I shouldn’t use all my excuses about it being too hard or too early or I’m too tired or whatever. Because I was waiting tables while I was taking a 7:30 chemistry class and did just fine at both. Of course, this was over a decade ago and I didn’t feel so old and creaky then. 😂

So. Here I am. I know I’ve said I’d do it before, but I never followed through. I might not have been up when I was planning, but here I am. I think I need to clean off my writing desk before I can get a whole lot done, but, I think I might just work in my dirty space for now. I can clean later when the Entropy Machine begins bouncing through the house.

Now, to catch up on The Embezzling Oma and see where I need to go and what needs to be written and what to do on it. Because… I think it’s been over a month since I’ve worked on it. It’s been sitting in the same place on my kitchen counter for two weeks. And I’ve been feeling the call, but honestly, by the time the Entropy Machine is down, I just am done. So totally done.

Anyway. I’ve been neglecting things that are important to me. Writing has always been something I have needed to do. I’ve needed an outlet for the thoughts bouncing around in my head, something for the extra cycles in my brain to work on. And instead of lessening my anxiety, it’s been increasing it because I have wanted to do it, I have wanted to sit down and let these ideas in my head come out and play and I didn’t have it in me.

I wonder if my diet and eating better made it easier for me to get up earlier? Maybe. Oh, that’s going great by the way. I’m feeling better, I wouldn’t say looking better yet, but I’m definitely feeling better and it’s easier and easier to make better choices.

Anyway. I knew I needed to get a quick blog post out, but I definitely need to get some scribbling done before the Entropy Machine wakes up.

Here’s to finding time for yourself. Here’s to finding it and doing it and making it happen.